I went to watch Chow Kit Road! Chow Kit Road! last night at Istana Budaya. You can see some of the tweets I sent below after the show:

But for me, other than the issues that were raised in the story and the great performance, it really reminded me about how wonderful Sudirman was, and how unfortunate that I was that young when he died that I wasn’t able to appreciate so of his music. The song below is probably my new favourite of his now … especially considering the sentiments in the country over the past couple of weeks.

Kulit by Sudirman

Kulit kulit berbagai warna kulit
Kulit kulit kalau dicubit sakit
Kulit kulit di tengah panas perit
Sakit kulit ada jenis berjangkit

Kulit berjerawat boleh dirawat
Niat jahat bawa akibat
Kulit jangan dijadikan alasan
Memisahkan sesama insan
Bezanya zahir sahaja

Kulit kulit berbagai warna kulit
Kulit kulit kalau dicubit sakit
Kulit kulit di tengah panas perit
Sakit kulit ada jenis berjangkit

Sawo matang itu warna kulit ku
Putih kuning mungkin kulitmu
Yang hitam atau pun putih susu
Yang utama hati budi mu
Hati budi mu

Kulit kulit berbagai warna kulit
Kulit kulit kalau dicubit sakit
Kulit kulit di tengah panas perit
Sakit kulit ada jenis berjangkit

Anak anak itu (lihat)
Mereka bersatu (jangan)
Diajar mereka (jangan)
Beza membeza

Kulit kulit berbagai warna kulit
Kulit kulit kalau dicubit sakit
Kulit kulit di tengah panas perit
Sakit kulit ada jenis berjangkit

Kulit kulit berbagai warna kulit
Kulit kulit kalau dicubit sakit
Kulit kulit di tengah panas perit
Sakit kulit ada jenis berjangkit.

2.18pm Malaysian time (+8 GMT)

I had originally planned for this post to go up this morning but I was a bit apprehensive. What if, I thought, I spoke too soon? After all, following the events of the past week – particularly in the couple of days after the end of the 13th General Elections – there was a lot of chatter on social media, and on the ground, about the fear history might repeat itself.

I am glad, however, that it is past 10pm now on May 13, 2013 and there has been no reports to my knowledge of any major occurrences due to racial tensions.

Perhaps I was silly to think this way. While I didn’t stock up “just in case” and went around telling everyone not to be silly thinking something will happen, there was this nagging “what if” at the back of my head.

Now, I sit here writing this post wondering where this fear came from. After all, I come from the post-May 13 generation which meant I never lived through it – I wasn’t even born. If people didn’t talk about it, I would not have known anything else about the incident other than what was written in our textbooks in school. How then, was I grappled by the fear of something that I’ve never encountered in my life?

I suspect that it was the way in which we learned about it. In school, we never discussed it much. Heck, for many years, I didn’t actually know what happened. All I know was that it was a very dark day in our country’s history. It wasn’t until I was much older, and took the initiative to read up on it myself, did I have a clearer picture of what happened.

Perhaps it’s not even the fault of the teacher or the subject. I think that for me, as a young person, I couldn’t comprehend the idea that Malaysia ever could have encountered such an incident. After all, some of my closest friends were people of other races. My teacher used to joke, in our class, that me and my friends – Daniel, Hailme, Ju Leong and Siveguru – were like Barisan Nasional.

But there’s more to it and this video, which I encountered via Facebook today, reminded me why.

You see, while I’ve been told of the horrors of the incident, I have also heard many positive things that came out from it. The story in the video above wasn’t strange to me because I grew up with a similar story. While my dad was not actually in KL on the actual day, he and a Malay friend were outside the university during the curfew in the following days of the incident which meant that they were locked out.

There was some fear of course, but they were good friends and made a pact – if at all they were to be hassled by anyone, each would stand up for the other. They defined themselves, first and foremost, as friends before their skin colour.

That story has been clearly embedded in my head since I was a child. I recall, even at a young age, that their behaviour was something to be proud of and I tell people of this story every time we talk about May 13. It was also by that philosophy that I try to live my life by, and while I wouldn’t want to speak for them, I believe that my sisters too feel the same.

After all, they both chose life partners of different races and their children – three between the two of them – are the products of such thinking. While Sara, Adam and Ali’s birth certificates and MyKads may define them by a particular race, they truly are children of Malaysia – the first two are of Malay-Chinese parentage while the third is a mix of Punjabi-Malay-Chinese.

When I look at them, I wonder about the race-based politics we practice in Malaysia and become optimistic about the future because there will come a time – and we’re already seeing this – when you cannot define a person by a particular heritage because people will be increasingly mixed. And this is not just about my generation – I have many cousins who are not like me with parents of the same ethnicity. I have cousins with Malay, Indian, Pakistani, Caucasian (Irish, Swedish, Australian and British among others) blood mixed with my Chinese relatives (either their mums or dads).

Unfortunately, my niece and nephews is not growing up in the same situation my siblings and I did. Yes, we will still share our stories and yes, they will understand diversity as a natural thing because it is in their genes but they are constantly told these days that we are more different than we are similar, and that it is okay to view each other through racial lenses.

Which is why it offended me so much to see such racially-sensitive sentiments to be uttered by certain people and media last week, and why I couldn’t take it all sitting down. I didn’t believe for a second that their Malaysia was the Malaysia I grew up in, and I refuse to allow my Malaysia to be usurped by theirs.

For me, this was the main reason why I joined my friends Zain HD and Juana Jaafar to put together last weekend’s #SayaMahu Picnic event which saw about 200 people come together to commemorate our diversity and unity by celebrating our Jalur Gemilang. You can read a report here and watch the video below.

The day before the event, I also joined my friends Jonson Chong and Datin Paduka Marina Mahathir in mobilising almost 70 personalities to endorse a statement that was drafted to speak against the racist sentiments that were coming to light last week. I shared the statement and the list of people who endorsed it in a previous blogpost.

These are little efforts but for me, and for the reasons above, they mean a lot. Over the past week, we have also seen several other campaigns – most visible are the ones activated via social media – which took the same stand as my friends and I.

I have always been proud of being a Malaysian, and it warms my heart that my Malaysia is the same as so many others. For me, there should really only be one Malaysia – one that encourages diversity, celebrates unity and most of all, one which accepts that while we may all be different – and make no mistake, we are – we are also all the same.

Note: I hope Dato’ Lat doesn’t mind me “borrowing” his drawing above but I just felt like it needed to be shared!

10.55pm Malaysian time (+8 GMT)

I really enjoyed this talk by Wang Lee Hom, in an address to the Oxford Union.

He said, in talking about the “East” and the “West” that music breaks down the walls and “shows us quickly that we are more alike than different”. There’s so much he said that can be used as an analogy for the times we live in currently.

I roughly transcribe my favourite points here: “Get to know one another, think for yourself and don’t believe the hype … If we can just disregard what the Governments and the media is saying, with our own tools of critical thinking can we build relationships that actually see one another as individual human beings and not faceless memories of a particular ethnicity or nationality.”

Thanks to my friend Soon Wei for sharing this on Facebook. Best 30 minutes I’ve spent on a Sunday morning. At the end of his speech, he mentioned a mix-tape that he created. You can access it here.

Note: The picture above was taken from Hung Ho Yu Photography from Flickr via the Creative Common License.

10.40am Malaysian time (+8 GMT)

We the undersigned are concerned Malaysians from various communities that have always respected one another since well before independence. Our Malaysia was founded on this diversity and our hopes for the future, as envisioned in Wawasan 2020, are built on this mosaic of races, cultures and religions, which have enriched one another since the time of our forebears.

In the aftermath of the 13th General Elections, we have been saddened by the racial tone of statements made by some of our political leaders as well as some media and blogs. The election results may not have pleased everyone but precisely for this reason, we need to unite and heal our rifts, rather than create more divisiveness.

For the past few years the citizens of Malaysia have been exhorted to show their support or not for the government in power through the ballot box rather than through other means. This they did on May 5, yet some of them have been called ungrateful for peacefully exercising their democratic right to express their opinion. They all voted for a better Malaysia and should not be blamed if their vision differs from what the government thinks it should be.

For politicians and the media to fault one community for their results goes against the spirit of our founding fathers, our Rukunegara, Wawasan 2020 and 1Malaysia. Pitting one community against other Malaysians because they allegedly rejected the government in power sets up dangerous divisions within our society and markedly raises the threat of violence.

All parties have agreed that change is needed in our beloved country, whether it is called ‘transformation’ or ‘ubah’. Changes in mindsets and attitudes are much needed for us to take our place in the globalised world today. This change must be achieved through peaceful means, including through the ballot box. It is therefore disappointing that the same old fear tactics are being used with the implicit threat of violence.

It is the democratic right of all Malaysians to lodge any objections to the election results due to concerns about fraud or mismanagement. However, this should be done by individuals or civil society groups submitting such objections to the Election Commission or through the court system, rather than by dissemination of unverified and unsubstantiated information through social media.

We agree with the need for national reconciliation and, therefore, call on all politicians, the media and activists to exercise restraint in their words and actions and work for change through peaceful means. After a fractious election campaign, we need more than ever to heal our wounds and unite to make a better Malaysia.

This statement is endorsed by:

1. Alan Bligh, emcee & voice-over talent
2. Alan Yun, actor
3. Aishah Sinclair, Actor & TV host
4. Amir Muhammad, book publisher
5. Art Harun, lawyer
6. Asha Gill, TV & radio host
7. Azah Yasmin Yusof, TV host & counselor
8. Carmen Soo, actor
9. Celina Khor, TV host & entrepreneur
10. Christopher Tock, social entrepreneur
11. Datin Azimah Rahim, education activist
12. Datin Paduka Marina Mahathir, writer & activist
13. Datin Sofia Jane, actor
14. Datuk Dr. Denison Jayasooria, PROHAM committee member
15. Datuk Bernard Chandran, couturier
16. Datuk Dr Chiam Heng Keng, PROHAM treasurer
17. Datuk Khutubul Zaman Bukhari, PROHAM member
18. Datuk Ramli Ibrahim, dancer & choreographer
19. Datuk Yasmin Yusuff, emcee & actor
20. Deborah Henry, Miss Universe Malaysia 2011
21. Dr Adeeba Kamarulzaman, medical specialist
22. Dr Azmi Sharom, academic
23. Dr Daniel Ho, pastor
24. Dr Farish Noor, academic & writer
25. Dr Hartini Zainuddin, children’s rights activist
26. Dr Ong Puay Liu, academic
27. Dr Zaha Rina Zahari, financial consultant
28. Elaine Daly, TV host (Miss Universe Malaysia 2003)
29. Harith Iskander, actor & comedian
30. Hans Isaac, actor
31. Ida Nerina, actor & director
32. KJ John, OHMSI
33. Jema Khan, businessman
34. Jonson Chong, educator & activist
35. Joyce Wong, blogger
36. Jules Tang, TV & radio personality
37. Kartini Kamalul Ariffin, TV host
38. Khoo Kay Peng, political analyst
39. Kuah Jenhan, actor & comedian
40. Lina Tan, TV executive producer
41. Lina Teoh, documentary filmmaker and former Miss World 2nd runner up
42. Low Ngai Yuen, TV host & arts entrepreneur
43. Maya Karin, actor
44. Niki Cheong, digital culture commentator
45. Norhayati Kaprawi, women’s rights activist & documentary maker
46. Pete Teo, musician & filmmaker
47. Prof Emeritus Shad Saleem Faruqi, academic
48. Puan Sri Elizabeth Moggie
49. Rafidah Abdullah, TV host & screenwriter
50. Ravindran Navaratnam, TIE Malaysia
51. Sazzy Falak, actor & entrepreneur
52. Serena Choong, radio & TV host
53. Shanthini Venugopal, performing arts practitioner
54. Sharifah Zuriah Aljeffri, artist
55. Sonny San, fashion consultant
56. Sue Quek, development practitioner
57. Tan Sri Dato Dr. Michael Yeoh, ASLI
58. Tan Sri Datuk Yong Poh Kon
59. Tan Sri Lee Kim Yew, businessman
60. Tan Sri Ramon Navaratnam, CPPS
61. Tunku ‘Abidin Muhriz, IDEAS
62. Toh Puan Dr. Aishah Ong, welfare activist
63. Vanidah Imran, actor
64. Will Quah, emcee
65. Zainah Anwar, women’s rights activist
66. Zain HD, RandomAlphabets
67. Zhariff Affandi, social entrepreneur

Note: The image above was taken from Ahmad Safri Yusop from Flickr under the Creative Commons License.

10.20pm Malaysian time (+8 GMT)

The photobombing uncle behind me aside, I have finally cast my vote for the 13th Malaysian General Election.

I hope you’ll all head out to vote to.

I have, over the past year, been accused by various quarters of being either pro-Government or pro-opposition especially when I tweet about politics, or engage with politicians on Twitter. In fact, over the past couple of months, my Twitter count has increased tremendously but suspicious eggs following a small number of people. I have my suspicions who they are, but I tend to ignore them. I have no time for trolls as well.

At the end of the day, the only thing I am “pro” is pro-Malaysia. Many have asked if I flew home just to vote and were quick to congratulate me. I didn’t. I was already home. But I would have found one way or other to vote even if I was not.

Ever since I became politically aware in my late teens, I have always looked forward to the opportunity to vote. And I haven’t yet missed a single one in three elections.

I never tell people who I vote for. If people press me, I always say, “The independent candidate”.

The truth is, it really doesn’t matter who I voted for. I have my reasons, as do you for whomever you choose. I know people who are politically partisan and many who are not. I know some who may be more politically aware than others and have, based on issues, chose to vote differently for state and federal.

At the end of the day, what matters most is that you vote.

Today, we all talk about Malaysia being on the cusp of history. I think history has already been made. Never in my life have I seen such an amazing turnout at the polling centres.

Lots will happen today – people are already talking about phantom voters being identified, ink running out at polling centres and more. My wish is that we all go through the day (and tomorrow, whatever the results may be) realising that we need to be civil with one another – even if that person is a foreigner.

Because at the end of the day, we are all Malaysians and I think we all have our country’s best interest at heart. And that is what matters the most.

Many are of the opinion that democracy is not well in Malaysia. I too have my doubts. But after seeing the events of the past couple of weeks, no one can truly say that democracy is not truly alive in our country.

Selamat mengundi, my fellow Malaysians.

11.13am Malaysian time (+8 GMT)

This post is about three weeks late. It was originally written while I was on my holidays in London last month, and in response to the “social media fail”, as some has referred to it, of Les Deux Garcons in Bangsar.

I won’t go too much into what happened, because it’s not really central to my article, but essentially a customer posted a complaint on LDG’s Facebook which was quickly deleted. Then it escalated with the customer asking why the post was deleted and the person handling the Facebook page replied, saying that they have no time for “bitches”. Alison blogs the full story here (I don’t think this incident will do as much damage as Alison thinks, though).

Anyway, I digress. This article was originally written for my ReWired column in Star2 but because the tech section, in which my column used to sit, is currently undergoing changes, everything is a bit up in the air. As such, I have decided to post this on here.

Taken from seanrnicholson on Flickr under the Creative Commons License.

–

By NIKI CHEONG

OVER the weekend, a screenshot taken from the Facebook page of French patisserie Les Deux Garcons in Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur, started circulating on Twitter and Facebook. The conversation in the image that was captured saw LDG – or at least the person responding to comments – refer to the complainant using an offensive term.

The owner Ben Yeong has since issued an apology on the site. However, many social media users – including some who have previously patronised the patisserie – have reacted negatively to it by calling it insincere, suggesting that it was not enough and some just plain mocking the apology.

Other people have taken to social network services to react to the backlash and questioning the behaviour of the public who are negatively reacting to the apology.

While I can understand the initial furore at the use of the offensive term, I can also understand how some people see the backlash – at time of writing, the apology has almost 400 comments in response – as being harsh.

My role here is not to argue the morality of such behaviours, whether it is the offensive response from LDG, the tone of outrage it sparked or the reaction to the apology notice. In all three instances, there was certain behaviours that I would consider to be anti-social.

Such incidents are not new, and definitely not just confined to Malaysia. Businesses the world over have struggled with trusting and properly training their staff to manage social network accounts while online anti-social behaviour dates back to the early days of online communication.

These incidences are abundant and they are not just limited to what some call a failure in social media marketing. For years, online users have been the subject of behaviour such as trolling and in the case above, flaming.

Some people believe that such behaviour is becoming more pervasive as we find more and more ways to connect and communicate online. There has also been many theories put forward as to why this is the case.

Two theories I personally subscribe to in the context of these anti-social behaviour are linked to concepts within psychology.

The first is that of deindividuation, a social psychology theory often linked to crowd mentality, which suggests that individuals tend to behave different to acceptable social norms under the veil of anonymity.

The second is the online disinhibition effect, introduced by psychologist John Suller, which identified six causes for why people behave online in ways they normally wouldn’t when in person.

In his 2004 paper titled The Online Disinhibition Effect, Suller suggests that people are less inhibited and express themselves more in online settings. While he acknowledges that this is sometimes a good thing, he also notes that in other cases it is “toxic disinhibition” where “out spills rude language and harsh criticisms, anger, hatred, even threats.”

Both these theories suggest that the affordances of computer-mediated technologies, such as the the perceived anonymity, lack of association of real and virtual as well as the speed in which people can react and respond, makes it conducive for people to lose their inhibitions and behave in such anti-social ways.

It may getting harder these days to remain anonymous online but anonymity appears to different people in different forms. One of Suller’s six causes includes dissociative anonymity, or the “You don’t know me” effect.

It is because of these reasons that such anti-social behaviour seems to be increasingly common in our daily online lives – whether it is in insulting customers (or other people) or online public shaming, as examples.

One way to deal with this issue is to go back to the basis of communicating – talking it out. Mashable business editor Todd Wasserman, in an opinion piece regarding social media public shaming which he feels is spiralling out of control, suggests that “the next time you feel outraged about something someone near you is doing, put your phone down and go talk to that person”.

He may have a point, as research has shown that voice communication can decrease online “bad behaviour”. Researchers John P. Davis, Shelly Farnham and Carlos Jensen, in 2002, found that “voice is a powerful determinant of ‘social proximity’ even when the voice is computer-generated and gender-neutral” as it allows “for the efficient transmission of a great deal of semantic information”.

While its true that technology has made communication faster and easier, it would perhaps be wise for us to sometimes take a moment to pause and talk it through with the parties involved – whether its a genuine complain from a loyal customer, a brand responding to criticism or just you and me – the general public who are just floating around cyberspace.

After all, our online lives are not disconnected from our offline ones so why not use all the “tools” of communication we have at our disposal?

12.03pm Malaysian time (+8 GMT)

Ever since I’ve returned from completing my MA in London, I’ve been inundated by questions about my future plans – or whether I am “back for good”. My reply has always been simple: “We’ll see” to the barrage of questions, and “Good sounds so permanent” to the latter.

The fact is, I am currently back and based in Kuala Lumpur, and besides missing London, quite happy to be home among family, friends and good food.

I did, however, promise many friends that I’d let them know once my plans are locked in. A couple of weeks ago, everything came together and this week marks my first proper week of working – although I have been doing some prep stuff over the past few weeks.

Today, I start at Saatchi & Saatchi Arachnid, where I will spend part of my week hopefully working on brilliant social media strategies with some brilliant people.

Later this week, my first classes as lecturer at the School of Communication and Creative Arts, KDU University College will begin where I will teach two modules of news writing for print and electronic media respective, and a module on creative industries which I have developed.

I’m really excited about this new journey(s) I’ve embarked on. I have not given up on my research and interest in journalism, however. I am working on (when I can find the time!) a couple of research projects at the moment, as well as still have my ReWired column in The Star.

But I think the agency and teaching jobs will mark exciting times ahead and I’m looking forward to the adventures (and lack of sleep).

I’ll probably be too pooped by the end of the week to celebrate so I had a glass (I lie – a few glasses) of champagne over a week ago on the way back from my UK trip to celebrate in advance – and alone!

15.06pm Malaysian time (+8 GMT)

]]> http://blog.nikicheong.com/new-week-and-new-beginnings.html/feed 7 http://blog.nikicheong.com/rip-pia-roy-and-thanks-for-the-lessons-in-life.html http://blog.nikicheong.com/rip-pia-roy-and-thanks-for-the-lessons-in-life.html#comments Sun, 31 Mar 2013 15:46:06 +0000 niki http://blog.nikicheong.com/?p=4468

This morning, I bade farewell to an old friend at her KL memorial at The Canvas in Damansara Perdana. I was lucky to have been in London last week as well to attend her funeral at the West London Crematorium. She was 33.

Like many things in life, you tend to take things and people for granted, and only make certain realisations when it’s too late. When I found out of her sudden passing a couple of weeks ago, I was upset that we never rescheduled our planned meeting late last year which had to be postponed because I wasn’t well.

Pia and I were terribly close in our teenage years. We spent a lot of time together, and back before mobile phones, spent hours on the phone chatting. Although we were young, and Pia was a year younger than me, she was always the more sensible, mature one. In that sense, she thought me many lessons in life which I still hold dear to me and I’m sure played a part in shaping who I am today.

In her death, Pia thought me one last lesson. She got me rethinking the idea of friendships at a time when I was dealing with leaving a life and bunch of amazing friends in London and returning to my old ones back home in Malaysia.

Those of you who know me would not be surprised at the fact that I have many friends. I don’t collect them consciously but I have encountered so many people in my life and I feel a connection with many of them. Like everyone else’s, my friendships with different people vary in intensity but a lot of it also has to do with periods in my life and interests at a certain point. Our lives tend to be dictated by time and space – often, it revolves around phases in time and geographical locations.

At a very young age, when I’d fall out with a friend for one reason or other, I would always go to my dad. Human connections are important to me, so when one falls apart, I get pretty emotional. Till this day, I often think of even people who I have met anonymously online over the years – wondering what they are doing now and where they are in their lives. I’ll never know the answer but it doesn’t stop me from thinking about them.

My dad’s respond to me was always very simple. He says that in life, you go through phases – school, work etc – and during those phases, we will encounter different people who will be important to us. But these phases, like the people in our lives, will come and they will go. I have always held this advice close my heart.

In Pia’s death, I am reminded of this. We have not been close in almost a decade. After leaving KL for a couple of years of studies in Australia, and then returning and starting my professional life, Pia and I saw little of each other. This was also a time before Facebook so it was harder to keep in touch.

Still, she kept tabs on me. Our last messages to each other was in November last year when I was feeling a little anxious about being done with studies and getting ready to return. She dropped me a message about the cryptic messages I was putting on my status, and if I was okay. That was when we planned to meet up which it didn’t happen.

The special people in your life may fleet in and out but we still care for each other. The last time I messaged her before that too was when she sounded troubled so I checked in on her.

Since we heard the news of her passing, I have been in touch with many people who had – and remain – special spots in my life although I haven’t seen them in many years, some in a couple of decades. These reconnections have been overwhelming and I’m not sure if it would have happened if not for this tragedy.

In her death, I am once again reminded of the wise advice my father had given me. In her death, I am reminded that I had such a special friend in my life – and many more. In her death, she taught me yet another lesson – always go through with your plans because you can never take time for granted.

It took such a sad event to remind me how much I miss her, and how grateful I am to have had her in my life. She was one of the special ones, and will remain that way in my heart and mind. I love you, Pia. Thanks and rest well.

11.42pm Malaysian time (+8 GMT)

]]> http://blog.nikicheong.com/rip-pia-roy-and-thanks-for-the-lessons-in-life.html/feed 0 http://blog.nikicheong.com/graduation.html http://blog.nikicheong.com/graduation.html#comments Tue, 05 Mar 2013 23:59:35 +0000 niki http://blog.nikicheong.com/?p=4458

This is a month and a half too late but my friend Jo, who kindly offered to take all the pictures on that day, only found the time amid her busy schedule to send me some photos from my graduation ceremony at the Barbican Centre in London which happened in January. Wow, long sentence. Anyway, [...]]]>

This is a month and a half too late but my friend Jo, who kindly offered to take all the pictures on that day, only found the time amid her busy schedule to send me some photos from my graduation ceremony at the Barbican Centre in London which happened in January.

Wow, long sentence.

Anyway, I thought I’d share the shot – and a few others in this album here. I also thought this was a good way to close that chapter of my life (on this blog, that is – corny as it may sound, the education and experiences are something I’ll carry with me for a very, very long time).

It was quite a day. I was staying out in Zone 6 with my parents who were crashing at an aunt’s place. It was the only day my mum would see any bit of London as she was ill the whole trip but she managed to make it out (with a pair of jeans under her beautiful dress). We got there early as there were lots to sort out – getting my tickets, collecting my gown, taking the official portraits, grabbing lunch and of course, catching up with friends.

Then again, some people *cough* Danny *cough* showed up late and still got it all sorted within 20 minutes!

Ours was the afternoon session so I made sure to try and get my friends outside before the sun went down for a few shots. We thought it’d be great to have some outdoor picture with a bit of London behind us, and the snow as well!

Eventually, we were ushered into the hall to take our seats and much to my disappointment, I was seated away from my friends! It was just the way the numbers worked with the queue but there was an empty seat near them so I managed to squeeze in for a picture and then, after we’ve gone on stage, took that seat so I could spend some time with them. It would be the last time the four of us (who showed up) would be together for a while.

At the reception, we got to catch up with Tim Jordan who was our course director and lecturer, who made the effort to dress up in his “clown costume” for us. Later, Danny’s and my family went for dinner at this lovely place in the city before heading off to Lounge Bohemia in Shoreditch for drinks with our other friends (sans the folks!). It was quite an eventful day.

Anyway, I said some thanks in my previous post when I submitted my dissertation but I think it’s worth a repeat:

• The British High Commission Kuala Lumpur and the British Foreign and Commonwealth Office for including me in the British Chevening Scholarship programme. 
• King’s College London, as a partner of the Chevening programme, for absorbing my university fees.
• My lecturers in no particular order: Tobias Blanke, Raffaele Viglianti, Btihaj Anjana, Beatriz Cabalerro, Nick Wilson, Elena Pierazzo, John Bradley and especially to my supervisor Tim Jordan.
• My classmates, particularly the ones who kept me sane (kept me drunk I mean), Danny Holland, Maya Desai and Bentley Yaffe.
• My other friends who were particularly helpful with my dissertation – Adam Ivey and Mike Webster.

Then there is the support of my family (who had to miss me for a year) and the many old friends I had in London, new friends who adopted me and others who visited and bought me meals when I was a poor student.

Thanks for all the fish! What a ride.

8am Malaysian time (+8 GMT)

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I wish that I grew up a year every year of my life, and I didn’t. – John Mayer

I found a letter this morning as I was clearing my room, something I’ve been doing for the past three weeks since I returned to KL from London. I received that letter in 2008 after having applied for four different scholarships to complete a Master’s programme in various parts of the world – Canada, Japan and the United Kingdom. All four had rejected my application back then.

As I read that letter, I recalled how sad I was each month, as the letters thanking me for my application came in one at a time. At that stage, I was going through the seven year itch with regards to my career – I had spent four years in magazines and three years at a newspaper. I was ready to once again return to the paper chase, something that I had planned on doing (and actually started doing) in 2002.

But this post is not about 2008. It is about 2013.

I wanted to start with the letter because I felt it was a great contrast to how I’ve felt over the past 18 months. Yes, I was sad back then but I didn’t let it get me down. In 2011, I once again applied for the British Chevening scholarship and as luck (and perhaps other factors) would have it, I found myself packing for London in September that year.

I had meant to drop a blog post about my return to Malaysia much earlier but I wasn’t sure how to put it in words. Did it even warrant a blog post, what would anyone care? Should I ty to capture the past year and a half in a blog post? What was the point?

The truth is that I’ve struggled with those questions, and many others, over the past few weeks. Indeed, coming home has not been easy for me not only because I really enjoyed my experience in the UK but also trying to figure out what lies for me ahead.

As I looked back on my life in London, and returning to my prior life in Kuala Lumpur, I’ve also had the opportunity to look and reflect on myself – the person I was, the person I am and the person I want to be. I’m still figuring it out.

Then, I came across an article featuring an interview with John Mayer and there was a quote that I felt totally captured the essence of how I’ve been feeling. I shared that quote at the top of this post. He did go on to say as well:

“I stopped for a certain period of time. And I was 24 for six years or whatever. And then the logjam cleared. And I’m dead-on for 35. It’s just, it was a weird way to get here, you know what I mean?” 

Since I’ve returned, many people have had two general questions. The first is “How was London?” and the second, and most popular, is “What are your plans now?”

Without trivialising the past 18 months – because no doubt I made some of the most discoveries about myself in that time, and learned a helluva lot, and enjoyed myself tremendously – my answer to the first is: “Great”.

As for the second question, the answer differs depending on the mood I’m feeling at that time. The truth is, deep down inside, my answer is “Who knows?” That’s as honest as it gets.

I’ll just keep dreaming, working hard and, when things fail, mope a little bit and then get back up again. It’s worked before, so there’s no reason why it can’t work again.

4.45pm Malaysian time (+8 GMT)